"KINDRED SPIRITS ARE NOT SO SCARCE AS I USED TO THINK.
IT'S SPLENDID TO FIND OUT THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM IN THE WORLD."
- Anne of Green Gables

Kindred Spirits

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

That Poor Nun...

I got this in an email, and I don't know if this is true that this came from a Catholic Elementary School Test, but it's funny none the less... :)

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Can you imagine the nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure! 

PAY  SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW  THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL  TEST.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED   OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATHOFF.
2.  ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE . NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS
 CAME ON IN PEARS. 
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR  OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A    BALL OF FIRE DURING THE  NIGHT. 

4. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO  LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.  

5. SAMSON SLAYED THE  PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE    APOSTLES.  

6. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO  THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE 
UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS  BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS

7. THE  EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT, AFTERWARDS,  MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE  TEN COMMANDMENTS 
8. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE. 

9. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY. 

10. MOSES DIED  BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS  IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
11.  THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS  SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
12. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

13. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVID S  SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 
PORCUPINES.  

 
14. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE  MAGNA CARTA. 
15. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER. 

16.  JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION. 

17. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD. 

18.  JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN  DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

19. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN  JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE   OFF THE ENTRANCE. 
20. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE  LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
21. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
22. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

23.  ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO  CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER  NAME FOR MARRAIGE. 
      
24. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE  SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED 
MONOTONY.



3 comments:

Miss Gwenea said...

HAHAHAHA!

Miss Sophia said...

Laughing. . . Screeching. . .Choking. . . SOOO funny!

Mikailah said...

That is so funny! Thanks for sharing!